Monthly Archives: November 2012

Aaron Craft: Don’t Look Now

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Image: Streeter Lecka/Getty Images North America.

He’s taken some stick for Ohio State’s 73-68 defeat to Duke Blue Devils this week, but honestly? Could you perform your job to the best of your abilities when to your left a bunch of smurfed-up college ball crazies want to tear your kit off so the chefs to your right can set about preparing you for the post-game barbecue?

No. So give the kid a break, would you?

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Sensuous Soccer: What The Premier League Needs Now

Marouane Fellaini captures the mood of the EPL. And Santi Cazorla’s nose. Image: Stuart MacFarlane/Arsenal FC via Getty Images.

What a miserable few days it’s been in the English Premier League.

If managers being sacked isn’t upsetting the fans, it’s managers being appointed. Refs have grounds to sue clubs, ‘supporters’ are getting banned for racist slurs and Darren Bent’s been left on the bench.

Again.

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Jimmy Anderson: A Close Shave

Image via twitter.

Bloody hell. We thought we were upset when England capitulated so spectacularly to India in the first test, but not to the point where we would allow anyone we know to cut our hair.

That’s tantamount to self-harming.

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Fernando Torres: With A Little Help From His Friends?

Rafa Benitez has used his latest press conference to claim that his misfiring striker can improve “with help from his team-mates“.

At this point in Fernando’s career, we reckon this is the perfect solution. Not only will a sling provide the kind of warm, safe environment he needs to find his confidence again, but it’s bound to be a big seller in the club shop, which can only help to offset the gaping hole in the club’s balance sheet he made when he arrived. Win win!

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Er…INCOMING! Hal Hunter, Essendon Bombers

Image: Matt Roberts/Getty Images AsiaPac.

We’re sure he just ended up with a mild headache. These Aussie Rules boys are tough. And seriously, how much damage can the pelvis of a 77kg male athlete travelling through the air at speed do to a guy’s spinal column?

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AC Milan: Reaching For New Heights

While AC Milan’s on pitch prowess has suffered with the loss of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, it seems that those left behind are making the most of their new found freedom. The big man is well known for dominating a dressing room, mainly by crushing the life out of everyone else with his own vast ego, but despite his rather unfortunate habit of karate kicking people in the face, other players looked up to him for his incredible goal scoring prowess.

Or maybe just because he’s really tall.

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The Weekend In Football: Born Of Frustration

Having seen what happened to Cristiano a couple of weeks ago, Angel Di Maria is taking no chances. Denis Doyle/Getty Images Europe.

This week’s results post is less of a round-up and more of a sit-com.

Settle back, relax and have a six pack and a cloth handy.  This could get messy.

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India v England 2nd Test: Go On, Monty!

Image via msnsport.

Monty Panesar has spent the last couple of hours laying waste to the Indian batting line-up in manner we couldn’t have dreamed of whilst watching the first test.

If only we’d known. We could have spent the time ironing our Monty masks in preparation.

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Borussia Dortmund: You Know You’re Old When…

…a club posts a picture of several players relaxing after qualifying for the knock-out stages of the Champions League on their Facebook timeline and you think it’s a publicity shot from Grange Hill circa 1987.

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Roman Abramovich: Don’t Push Him

Fleeting whim has no place in football. Anyone who regularly spends their hard earned cash and precious time sat in a plastic seat freezing their arse off while watching their players capitulate to a lesser side yet again will know this.

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