Monthly Archives: October 2012

Shane Warne & Mike Gatting: The Equaliser

Image: Lucas Dawson/Getty Images AsiaPac.

It’s been a few years in the making, but we’re pretty sure that the contents of this photo are sufficient for Mike Gatting to have put the whole ‘Ball of the Century‘ business behind him.

If Warney in tights doesn’t do it, nothing will.

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The Jeremy Kyle Show: Footballer Special

Even the most optimistic football fan knows that the this image is the closest they’re ever going to get to John Terry facing notorious chav haranguer Jeremy ‘put something on the end of it’ Kyle.

Or is it? Italian TV show ‘C’è posta per te‘ (You’ve Got Mail) has been using footballers in a their problem solving public forum for years now, and while the likes of Daniele De Rossi, Francesco Totti and last week, Cristiano Ronaldo, have so far been restricted to helping others during their appearances, surely we’re only a format tweak or two away from players facing up to their ineptitude on national television.

Watch the clip of Cristiano in action, then tell us that Mario Balotelli shamefacedly explaining last year’s firework bonanza while being told to ‘grow a pair’ by a middle class tit in a crap suit is too much of a stretch.

Over to you, ITV2.

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Pantofola d’Oro Preview: Multipurpose Boot Breakthrough

Image via facebook.

This, ladies and gents, is a preview of the new Pantofola d’Oro boot, as seen on Soccerbible.

Presumably they have post-match relaxation in mind. Bowling, anyone?

 

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Carlos Arthur Nuzman: Star Wars, Special Olympic Edition

Images:  ANTONIO SCORZA/AFP/Getty Images, via torwars.com.

This is Brazilian Olympic Committee president Carlos Arthur Nuzman talking about preparation for the 2016 games in Rio De Janeiro yesterday.

We are advised by our lawyers that any resemblance to Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars is purely coincidental.

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The Weekend In Football: Cattle Prods & Coconut Oil

Mou prefers a 21st Century twist to the old ‘carrot & stick’ motivation technique… Photoshopping by SideEye.

Is it possible that Jose Mourinho has engineered Real Madrid’s eight point deficit to Barcelona, just so he can overhaul it and get one over on Pep Guardiola?

At this stage, we’re not putting anything past him. Including the repeated use of bovine torture devices.

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Flo Rida: Carol City Beefs

On the plus side, the feathery helmets hide the players’ identities. Image via preprally.

This, ladies and gents, is the new uniform of the Carol City Chiefs. It was commissioned for the high school football team by former pupil turned musical impresario Flo Rida, who presumably suffered terrible bullying at the hands of the  jocks.

Revenge is best served by forcing your enemy to wear a Native American chief’s face across their Spandex clad crotch, after all.

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Champions League: A Little Something For Everyone

JT fiddles while Roman burns. Image: Michael Steele/Getty Images Europe.

Chances are, if your team’s hopes of qualification took a knock, one of your club’s fiercest rivals probably shipped points too.

It was that kind of Champions League week.

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Leonardo Bonucci: Crime Stopper

Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.

Curious to know how Juve hardman Leonardo Bonucci single handedly fought off an armed robber last week?

We have the photos. Follow the jump and you’ll see.

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Andrew Strauss: Form Is Temporary, Class Is Permanent

Image: Stupid is as stupid doos, as they in South Africa. Don’t they?

Kevin Pietersen might have the kind of flair on the cricket pitch that prompts the ECB to pick him regardless of the embarrassment his activities cause, but Andrew Strauss has so far been the one to demonstrate who is the real class act in the revamped side.

Strauss was insulted in a series of text messages from Pietersen to members of the South African team in August, but in an interview earlier this week he told BBC SportKevin sounds contrite and he realises he’s made some mistakes. Now is the time for everyone to look forward.”

It would be interesting to see whether Pietersen would have been so gracious if Strauss had been the one pressing the buttons.

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Brendan Batson: On The Frontline Again

Ron Atkinson referred to Laurie Cunningham, Cyrille Regis and Brendan Batson as “The Three Degrees”. He was just warming up too. Image via tumblr.

Brendan Batson has reiterated the importance of “fighting racism with a united front” in his plea to black footballers not to form a breakaway union. The former Arsenal and West Brom defender was speaking after several players, including Rio Ferdinand and Jason Roberts, refused to wear anti-racism t-shirts during warm-ups at the weekend, apparently as a protest against a perceived lack of consistency from the FA in a number of high profile incidents.

Batson has previously spoken of the abuse he suffered as the first black player to be selected for the Arsenal first team, and says that while he understands the players’ frustration, he believes they would be stronger in the current system than fighting alone. He said:

The battle accelerated in ’93 with Kick it Out, while current players may not think it has been accelerated enough in the last few years and because of the incidents over the past 12 months.

I think they should use the PFA and the other partners to help that change to support anti-racism campaigns to help that change.

Whether FIFA, UEFA and the FA will bother to join him on the frontline remains to be seen.

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