Category Archives: Results

Champions League Chuntering: There’s Always Next Year…

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Robert Lewandowski learned what it was like to have the personal attention of Real Madrid’s record red card earner last night. Image: DANI POZO/AFP/Getty Images.

In the end, of course, it all came down to Sergio Ramos. Jose Mourinho’s musing on the fact that Robert Lewandowski scored four goals in the first leg and yet was not fouled once was obviously taken to heart by the Real Madrid central defender, whose constant clattering, elbowing and bullying of the Polish international was sufficient for him to lose his composure in front of goal.

It’s a testament to Lewandowski’s focus and professionalism that he accepted the majority of the attention without complaint, despite ample opportunity to bitch to referee Howard Webb, and, amid rumours of his departure, it’s difficult not to feel like the Champions League trophy is his idea of a perfect parting gift to the club that gave him his breakthrough.

Dortmund’s necessarily stoic, functional performance last night in the Bernabeu makes it hard to argue.

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Champions League Chuntering: Conquerors With Combovers

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Image: PATRIK STOLLARZ/AFP/Getty Images.

Love him or hate him, the bloated, whacked out world of elite football needs Jose Mourinho. The Real Madrid manager, still reeling from Borussia Dortmund’s captivating demolition of his team, stated in a press conference last night that he was certain his players could overturn the 4-1 deficit, claiming “Of course we can do it. On a crazy night where everyone performs at a high level and you score every chance, you can do it. What you cannot do is get knocked out without dying on the pitch.”

Like the replay wasn’t going to be entertaining enough without the likes of Sergio Ramos, Cristiano Ronaldo and Xabi Alonso overdosing on tanning oil if they fail to reach the final.

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Champions League Chuntering: Hit & Run

FC Bayern Muenchen v Barcelona - UEFA Champions League Semi Final: First Leg

Bayern Munich. Purring. Image: Boris Streubel/Getty Images.

Would anyone have blamed Jupp Heynckes if he had sought advice from Pep Guardiola prior to last night’s Champions League semi vs. Barcelona? Few people are as well versed in the delicate handling required to get the best out of the purring supercar that is Barca, and with Guardiola set to take over from Heynckes in June, Bayern Munich, desperate to make up for the humiliating defeat at the hands of Chelsea at the Allianz Arena in last year’s final, could only have benefited from the Spaniard’s advice.

But Heynckes wasn’t having any it. “I admire Pep Guardiola,” he told reporters at the pre-match press conference, “but I don’t need any advice from other coaches“.

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Premier League Primer: A Tale Of Two Gareths

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For a moment there, Gareth Barry thought he was back playing for Villa. Image: Mike Hewitt/Getty Images.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. But thanks in part to the contribution of the second best Gareth in English football, the forecast is for Fergie time.

All of the time.

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Premier League Primer: You Do The Odemwingie & You Turn Around…

Manchester City v Liverpool - Premier League

Image: Alex Livesey/Getty Images.

Unfair really, given the West Brom front man was relieved of duty for the weekend and therefore played no part in his side’s 1-0 defeat to Spurs.

But as David Silva will testify, a good arse kicking is the least one can expect from the Premier League. Odemwingie might as well get used to it.

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Premier League Primer: On Me Head, Son

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Image: ADRIAN DENNIS/AFP/Getty Images.

Before service commences, pray a moment’s silence for the death of Liverpool’s incompetence in the transfer market.

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The Weekend In Football: Hair Today…

Arsenal v Manchester City - Premier League

City vs. Arsenal. Upsetting scenes. Image: Mike Hewitt/Getty Images.

This isn’t the first time we’ve been left tramatised and jonesing for cheese by events on Super Sunday.

But it’s without doubt the most visually arresting.

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Capital One Cup: The History Boys

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Yeah, Shreeves is here. He’s watching you from the tunnel. Image: GLYN KIRK/AFP/Getty Images.

Semi-final first leg reports. Kinda.

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The SideEyeSport FA Cup Awards: Quite The Handful

Macclesfield Town v Cardiff City - FA Cup Third Round

Image: Chris Brunskill/Getty Images.

Now the hysteria has subsided, we pick through the debris of FA Cup 3rd round weekend and expose a few sides to unfair scrutiny.

Join us. It’s fun.

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The Weekend In Football: Just Dance

Manchester United v Sunderland - Premier League

Feeling festive? Why not grab a partner and have a little shimmy? Image: John Peters/Man Utd via Getty Images.

No, we haven’t got a clue what they’re doing either. But it seemed as good a photo as any to kick off the proceedings.

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