Category Archives: News

Bayern Munich: Close To Breaking Point

Bayern Muenchen - Doha Training Camp Day 8

Images: Alex Grimm/Bongarts/Getty Images.

Bayern Muenchen - Doha Training Camp Day 8Is a winter break something the EPL should consider introducing? It’s a popular debate at this time of year, so we casually followed the exploits of Bayern Munich & Schalke last week, both of whom shipped out to Doha during the annual Bundesliga hiatus. Would English clubs see any benefit from a week mucking about with sandpits and straps in the sun?

Well, if the friendly result at the end of the week was any evidence, no. Both teams more or less replicated their league form in the game – Bayern subjecting Schalke a 5-0 arse kicking – but on the plus side, it provided watching paps with all manner of novel photo opportunities. That’s all we care about really.

Consider us massively in favour.

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Cristiano Ronaldo: Quadruple Vision

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Image via twitter.

Ooh, guess who just won the Ballon D’or for the fourth time in a row?!

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Ricky Ponting: A Fond Farewell Featuring Furniture

Australia v Sri Lanka - First Test: Day 1

Image: Matt King/Getty Images.

It might not be a conventional send-off for a cricket legend, but a parade around the outfield on a park bench crammed onto the back of a ute looks pretty good to us.

Thanks for the memories, Punter. Even if, at times, they weren’t so great.

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Bastian Schweinsteiger: Man Of Bronze

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Before & after. Bastian Schweinsteiger on his debut in 2002 (l), and this season. Image via facebook.

Ten years ago today, Bastian Schweinsteiger made his Bundesliga debut in Bayern Munich’s game vs. Stuttgart.

Since that time he has picked up five league titles, five German Cups and two League Cups, but arguably the most important thing he has learned is that too much fake tan and Sun-In in one’s youth can lead to embarrassment when someone whips out the commemorative photos.

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Lionel Messi: Chew On That

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Image: David Ramos/Getty Images Europe.

Lionel Messi will sit out Barcelona’s next two training sessions after leaving the Nou Camp with his heart in its mouth on Wednesday night against Benfica.

Daily Mail report on Messi’s injury, sustained vs. Benfica. 6/12/12

Bloody hell, that sounds unpleasant. We thought he just hurt his knee.

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Roman Abramovich: Don’t Push Him

Fleeting whim has no place in football. Anyone who regularly spends their hard earned cash and precious time sat in a plastic seat freezing their arse off while watching their players capitulate to a lesser side yet again will know this.

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Real Oviedo: Donate, Dammit!

Image via betshoot.

To date, social networking and football has proved to be little more than a disaster.

Players sharing team information prior to match days, calling fans, critics and each other offensive names and posting pictures of themselves in various states of undress are favoured forms of technological buffoonery, and while we don’t for one minute expect a single good news story to mitigate your loss of faith in young men being able to conduct themselves with any kind of decorum, it might restore the balance a bit.

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Oliver Holt: Don’t Bandy It About

Image via thefootballramble.com.

In case anyone is unclear on why we think the mainstream football press is utterly out of touch, here’s a photo of Mirror journalist Oliver Holt from last weekend’s Sunday Supplement.

Feel free to engage in provocative correspondence à la Private Eye/Andrew Neill with us regarding this picture, and we will endeavor to re-publish it wherever possible.

Duty to the game and that.

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The Jeremy Kyle Show: Footballer Special

Even the most optimistic football fan knows that the this image is the closest they’re ever going to get to John Terry facing notorious chav haranguer Jeremy ‘put something on the end of it’ Kyle.

Or is it? Italian TV show ‘C’è posta per te‘ (You’ve Got Mail) has been using footballers in a their problem solving public forum for years now, and while the likes of Daniele De Rossi, Francesco Totti and last week, Cristiano Ronaldo, have so far been restricted to helping others during their appearances, surely we’re only a format tweak or two away from players facing up to their ineptitude on national television.

Watch the clip of Cristiano in action, then tell us that Mario Balotelli shamefacedly explaining last year’s firework bonanza while being told to ‘grow a pair’ by a middle class tit in a crap suit is too much of a stretch.

Over to you, ITV2.

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Pantofola d’Oro Preview: Multipurpose Boot Breakthrough

Image via facebook.

This, ladies and gents, is a preview of the new Pantofola d’Oro boot, as seen on Soccerbible.

Presumably they have post-match relaxation in mind. Bowling, anyone?

 

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