Real Oviedo: Donate, Dammit!

Image via betshoot.

To date, social networking and football has proved to be little more than a disaster.

Players sharing team information prior to match days, calling fans, critics and each other offensive names and posting pictures of themselves in various states of undress are favoured forms of technological buffoonery, and while we don’t for one minute expect a single good news story to mitigate your loss of faith in young men being able to conduct themselves with any kind of decorum, it might restore the balance a bit.

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International Friendlies: HE IS ZLATAN!

Image: Michael Regan/Getty Images Europe.

There are few superlatives you can shower upon Zlatan Ibrahimovic that he hasn’t already liberally bathed himself in.

Still, like everyone else with a vague interest in football and a deadline to meet this morning, we’ll give it a go.

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Neymar: Pre-Emptive Parenting

Before we all get too carried away with impact that Thiago Messi is going to have on global football, it should be remembered that Neymar has got a fifteen month start on the NextGen training.

Watch the above video from 4.18 onwards to witness Davi Lucca’s first drag back and feel the panic over future England trophy prospects return with renewed vigour.

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Murali & Swanny: Spin Class

Apparently, Muttiah Muralitharan is not worried about competing against Shane Warne in the T20 Big Bash League that kicks off next month. He’s much more focussed on the batsman he will face when leading the Melbourne Renegades’ bowling attack.

We bet you 50p those guys are thrilled to hear that.

In other news, we’re delighted to report that Grahame Swann, Murali’s opponent in the sponsored spin-off, has rejoined the England squad in time for the First Test vs. India, which begins tomorrow. Swanny flew back to the UK after his baby daughter fell ill. Best wishes to him and his fam.

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David Haye: The Bare Faced Cheek Of The Man

Image via digitalspy.

By his own admission, David Haye ‘provoked’ Wladimir Klitschko into fighting him by wearing a t-shirt depicting the boxer and his brother’s decapitated corpses.

Are we to assume this is his play for a title fight against Vitali?

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Oliver Holt: Don’t Bandy It About

Image via thefootballramble.com.

In case anyone is unclear on why we think the mainstream football press is utterly out of touch, here’s a photo of Mirror journalist Oliver Holt from last weekend’s Sunday Supplement.

Feel free to engage in provocative correspondence à la Private Eye/Andrew Neill with us regarding this picture, and we will endeavor to re-publish it wherever possible.

Duty to the game and that.

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The Weekend In Football: Bow Chica Wow-Wow

This is called ‘making a case for the starting line-up’. Image: Michael Regan/Getty Images Europe.

Results. Sarcasm. Finger pointing. Embarrassing stories about betting.

Just the usual really.

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ATP Tour Finals: Advantage, Eyes

Image: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images Europe.

Leander Paes & Radek Stepanek broke out a complex victory celebration during their qualification match for the semis of the ATP Tour Finals yesterday.

At this point we should probably just be grateful it doesn’t include clothing removal or Gangnam references. Or worse still, both.

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Real Madrid: Audi Doodly!

Original Image: Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images Europe.

We wonder if the rich boys of Real Madrid would be so enthusiastic about receiving free cars as  part of the club’s partnership with Audi if they were more relevant to the their sartorial preferences?

It would certainly make the rest of us feel a bit better about our shite cars.

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The Weekend In Football: Baby Steps

Edinson expects. Image: Marco Luzzani/Getty Images Europe.

We’re late, we didn’t have time to round up Serie A and we spilled coffee all over the carpet.

Honestly, we’d sack ourselves if there was anyone else to do this.

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