Category Archives: Football

Snark Shots: Faces, Fists & Furballs

Big Bash League - Heat v Stars

A moment too late, boxer Anthony Mundine realises that Shane Warne’s Ken Face is indeed horribly contagious. Image: Matt Roberts/Getty Images.

A quick round up of the week’s news, brought to you by Pot Noodle, ibuprofen and several pots of seriously unnatural hair colourant.

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Kevin-Prince Boateng: Crossing The Line

AC Milan have walked off the pitch during a friendly after striker Kevin-Prince Boateng was allegedly racially abused by opposition fans.

Officials warned against such action prior to the World Cup last year, after players including Mario Balotelli stated that they would leave the field if they were targeted during the tournament.

Given UEFA’s risible response to events during England U21’s game vs. Serbia a few months ago, we fully expect Boateng and his teammates to be banned for bringing the game into disrepute.

Which would be hilarious if it wasn’t perfectly clear that it’s already there.


Rafael & Sylvie van der Vaart: Over & Out

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Image via lockerz.

Rafael van der Vaart has apologised after allegedly striking his wife Sylvie in front of guests at a New Year’s Eve party. The couple, who have been married for seven years and have one son, Damien, have announced their intention to split up over the incident, despite Sylvie claiming she had “forgiven him already“.

Footballers are notoriously poor at marriage maintenance, but those in the know deemed this one a keeper. Rafa supported model and TV presenter Sylvie after she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005, and his decision to return to former club Hamburg from Spurs last summer was reportedly influenced by his wife’s successful TV career in Germany.

Sad news indeed.

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic: Now Featuring Birds

Paris Saint Germain Players Attend Day Two Of The Qatar Open 2013

Image: Christian Gavelle/PSG via Getty Images.

It’s a nice enough sentiment and everything, but we feel like there may be consequences to introducing Zlatan Ibrahimovic to falconry.

We’re just saying.

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The Weekend In Football: Just Dance

Manchester United v Sunderland - Premier League

Feeling festive? Why not grab a partner and have a little shimmy? Image: John Peters/Man Utd via Getty Images.

No, we haven’t got a clue what they’re doing either. But it seemed as good a photo as any to kick off the proceedings.

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Luis Suarez: Diving Into Festive Spirit


Image via facebook.

Members of Liverpool FC were photographed during their festive visit to Alder Hey Childrens Hospital earlier this week.

Luis Suarez threw himself into the visit enthusiastically, although this lucky recipient wasn’t quite sure whether the striker was merely leaning in for a friendly close-up or setting himself up for a penalty appeal. It’s so hard to know from that angle, isn’t it?

Bradford City Vs. Arsenal: A Picture’s Worth A Thousand Words


In case you missed it, Arsenal were knocked out of the Capital One Cup last night by Bradford City. Despite an occasionally sparkly history, Bradford City currently compete in League 2, but beat Arsenal on penalties after defender Thomas Vermaelen missed from the spot.

Ain’t that a kick in the head?

Brendan Rodgers: Busted. In More Ways Than One


This is the first time we have ever seen anything remotely interesting/entertaining/informative happen on an club TV channel.

A huge thank you to for introducing us to this innovative concept.

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The Weekend In Football: On The Flip Of A Coin


Thankfully, Attila is not nesting at the moment. That beard may have proved a problem if he had been. Image: DANIEL ROLAND/AFP/Getty Images.

If you’re in a bad mood today, we suggest that instead of reading the Premier League section of this post, you should stare at the photo of Eintracht Frankfurt and their mascot above until you remember how much fun football can be when everyone behaves themselves.

You can then proceed directly to Lionel Messi’s happy place, unhindered by negative energy and a desire to start watching rugby.

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Sartorial Snark: You’re Wearing That Out, Are You?


Images: Ohpix/Bauer Griffin.

Footballers are the fashionistas of the sporting world, although sometimes the heady combination of youth, inexperience and unlimited spending budgets can lead to confusion, overexcitement and poor decision making.

We’re looking at you, Stephen Ireland.

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